Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
