Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
