he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
