Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
