I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
