This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
