my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
