My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
