That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
