I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The air taste purple.
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