I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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