I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
