Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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