You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
