Christians are straight up FREAKS
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
