After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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