What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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