It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
