erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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