I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
