Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Randomize
