the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
