I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
