yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
