i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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