You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
