i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Randomize
