Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
