loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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