Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
