the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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