ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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