How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
These tits shall not be calmed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
