I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
