K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
