just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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