My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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