God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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