That's intense
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
