Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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