My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize