i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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