remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
