my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
