He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
