There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
