I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
