my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
