im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
