i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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