What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
