I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want her autograph on my taint
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
