It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
