New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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