i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
