your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
