Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
