who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
