I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
